All my life, I searched for something soft..! Maybe a settled place, a person, a pause in the chaos where I could just me.

But ohh that love…!! It never came dressed as love. Left wondering if maybe I was the problem. I mean… was I, actually?

So I ran — over and over again. Searching. Wondering. Looking for what looked like care.

I ran away from pain as far as I could. But fate gifted me lonelier arms, darker places. And yes, sugar-coated perfectly. But it was never love. Just pretending. Taking. I don’t know… Only being looked at, but never really wanted by them! Was I not soft enough? Not strong enough? Too much? Not enough? Often, I ask myself:Was it my fault?

But deep down… Maybe it’s just the old child in me wanting to be held — not hurt. A soul that just wants to feel safe — not sized up. I didn’t deserve what happened to me, neither did you. What I wanted was simple: To be loved, not lusted. To be safe, not shaped. To be held, not handled.

And maybe — just maybe — one day, love will find me. Not because I begged for it, but because I finally started believing I was worthy of it.